Tough Guy
Official Book Synopsis
They have nothing in common—so why does Ryan feel most like himself whenever he’s with Fabian?
Pro hockey star Ryan Price may be an enforcer, but off the ice he struggles with anxiety. Recently traded to the Toronto Guardians, he’s determined to make a fresh start in the city’s dynamic LGBTQ Village. The last thing he expects to stumble upon in his new neighborhood is a blast from his past in the fabulous form of Fabian Salah.
Aspiring musician Fabian loathes hockey. But that doesn’t stop him from being attracted to a certain burly, ginger-bearded defenseman. He hasn’t forgotten the kiss they almost shared back in high school, and it’s clear the chemistry between them has only intensified.
Fabian is more than happy to be Ryan’s guide to the gay scene in Toronto. Between dance clubs and art exhibits—and the most amazing sex—Ryan’s starting to feel something he hasn’t experienced in a long time: joy. But playing the role of the heavy on the ice has taken its toll on his body and mind, and a future with Fabian may mean hanging up his skates for good.
Tough Guy follows Ryan Price, an NHL enforcer and defenseman whose entire career has been built around one thing: Taking and delivering hits to intimidate the other team. Traded to the Toronto Guardians, he's assigned to protect star (douchebag) players like Dallas Kent. Ryan is good at his job and miserable doing it. He hates fighting, hates the "Pay. The. Price." chant from the crowd, and manages his severe anxiety with medication that comes with its own complications. Then he walks into a pharmacy to pick up a prescription and runs into Fabian Salah - The boy he billeted with in Halifax thirteen years ago, the boy he's never quite stopped thinking about. Now Fabian works a retail job and playing indie music at a venue called the Lighthouse.
What starts as carrying Fabian's gear home from a show and exchanging numbers becomes eating (tonkotsu) ramen, going to a gay club, a cheek kiss on a dark street, and something Ryan has never let himself have before. He's terrified of being outed, of not being enough, of his body not cooperating the way he wants it to. But Fabian is patient and warm and completely unbothered by things Ryan expected to be dealbreakers. They figure it out together, slowly and then all at once, in an apartment decorated with fairy lights and candles, in scrambled eggs and Folgers coffee the morning after, in Ryan showing up to Fabian's open mic nights and Fabian watching Guardians games on his phone. Ryan asks Fabian to be his boyfriend. Fabian says yes.
The cracks in Ryan's hockey life deepen the longer the season goes on. He tries to talk an opponent out of fighting and gets headbutted for it. He plays through a severe back injury on Toradol injections. When Fabian finally confronts him about it, Ryan snaps and says "hockey is all I am" and Fabian walks out. Two miserable weeks later, Ryan gets news that Duncan Harvey, the opponent he refused to fight, has died of an overdose. He goes to the funeral, runs into Ilya Rozanov, and gets an unexpected offer to coach at a charity hockey camp over the summer. Something clicks. Ryan realises that hockey being all he is might be the actual problem.
At the end, Fabian plays his album release show to a packed crowd, wearing the pearl necklace Ryan gave him for Christmas. Ryan is standing at the back of the venue wearing the scarf Fabian gave him. They go home together, Ryan tells Fabian he's quitting the NHL, and they pull up real estate listings for a townhouse. That summer, Ryan coaches at Rozanov and Hollander's charity camp in Montreal - accidentally walks in on the two of them making out in an office - and texts Fabian photos of pastries. For the first time in his career, Ryan Price is not bracing for the next hit.
After being traded to the Toronto Guardians, clinically anxious defenseman Ryan Price meets his new coach, Bruce Cooper, who expects him to act as an enforcer to protect arrogant and problematic star center Dallas Kent. Ryan feels utterly isolated, struggling with his designated violent role and dealing with sexual dysfunction from his anxiety meds, which makes him not even able to come while watching his favourite androgynous porn star, Kamil Kock. Meanwhile, indie musician Fabian Salah rides the subway, internally raging against the homophobic, macho hockey culture surrounding him. Despite his disdain for jocks, Fabian shows a softer side by chatting with a young girl, showcasing his vibrant, unapologetic personality just as he prepares to finally cut ties with his toxic ex, Claude.
While working his night shift at the Savers Drug Mart cosmetics counter in full makeup, Fabian is shocked when a massive, bearded Ryan walks in to pick up a prescription. Fabian immediately recognizes Ryan as the hockey player who billeted with his family thirteen years ago. The reunion reignites their friendship and feelings for each other from all those years ago. However, Ryan’s mind is soon dominated by his severe fear of flying. Boarding a flight to Nashville, Ryan desperately clings to his anxiety coping mechanisms: texting his sister Colleen and clutching his frayed, beloved copy of Anne of Green Gables. Backup goalie Wyatt Hayes kindly distracts Ryan, solidifying a rare, genuine locker room friendship.
Fabian hosts "Bargain Brunch" - complete with waffles, skin masks and Baby Duck 'champagne' - where his friends tease him about his ex Claude. Across town, Ryan reluctantly fights a rookie, hating the crowd's "Pay the Price" chant. Later, Ryan rushes to the Lighthouse club in his suit to watch Fabian perform and is mesmerized. Afterward, Fabian accidentally says, "as if I'm going to fuck a hockey player" to his friend Vanessa, unaware that Ryan is right behind him. Ryan politely ignores what Fabian has said and insists on carrying Fabian’s heavy gear home. Before saying goodbyes, they exchange numbers and plan to hang out again soon.
Encouraged by his sister, Ryan buys some IKEA furniture. Wyatt helps him build it, subtly revealing him being an ally for Ryan by showing Ryan a photo of his lesbian sister. Feeling confident, Ryan bumps into Fabian at a cafe, leading to a spontaneous date at a ramen restaurant where they both order tonkotsu ramen. Over dinner, Ryan opens up about his flying and social anxieties. The night ends with Fabian giving Ryan a kiss on the cheek. Later, Ryan scores a rare goal, and is thrilled to learn that Fabian watched his game. Later, during a day off in Columbus, Wyatt takes Ryan to a comic book shop, giving Ryan a much-needed distraction from his feelings for Fabian, and his dread of Dallas Kent's upcoming team party.
Ryan attends Fabian’s open mic set at the Indigo Cafe, and also meets Fabian's friends - Vanessa and Marcus. Vanessa deliberately mentions a vibrator she gave Fabian, teasing Fabian in front of Ryan. After Fabian's magical set, Ryan walks Fabian home. Walking home in the freezing rain, they talk about their types of men. Fabian also mentions how Ryan showing up to his recital when they were teenagers means everything to him. With the heavy rain, Fabian invites Ryan into his apartment. They then confess their mutual teenage crushes, with them admitting wanting to kiss each other on the Halifax ferry years ago. Fabian gently initiates intimacy. However, feeling that he's not good enough for someone as vibrant as Fabian, Ryan panics and abruptly leaves Fabian, who has tears in his eyes. Fabian is left heartbroken until Vanessa points out that Ryan is just scared, prompting Fabian to reconnect via a sweet short text - "Hi", which results in them making plan to meet again.
After getting a stylish haircut from a salon to boost his confidence, Ryan goes to Dallas Kent’s gaudy mansion party but quickly leaves the toxic environment to meet Fabian at the Force nightclub. Fabian, wearing a sheer lace tank top, pulls Ryan onto the dance floor. They share a passionate sidewalk kiss and head to Ryan’s apartment. Ryan vulnerably confesses his sexual anxieties, but Fabian is supportive and makes sure Ryan is comfortable. Fabian comes with Ryan jerking him off. Even though Ryan doesn't come that night, he's content and falls asleep next to Fabian. They then spend a lazy and sexy morning together before Fabian goes to work at the drug store later that day.
Ryan watches Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov's press conference announcing their charity partnership. Dallas Kent and Troy Barrett make gross, homophobic comments about Shane and Ilya, prompting Ryan to have the courage to say to Kent and the whole locker room of players "I'm gay" and voice his disgust to Dallas and his homophobic remarks. Later, Ryan and Fabian spend an intimate night where Fabian wears black lace underwear and a cock ring, as well as testing out a vibrating dildo. That night ends with Ryan finally fucking Fabian. Later on a Sunday, Ryan officially meets Fabian’s friends at their "Bargain Brunch". Ryan immediately charms the group by bringing a hundred-dollar bottle of Moët champagne. However, the stark reality of Ryan’s violent career rears its head when Fabian watches a game where rival enforcer Duncan Harvey brutally headbutts Ryan. Ryan refuses to fight back. When Ryan goes to Fabian’s apartment after the game, a tearful Fabian officially asks Ryan to be his boyfriend, cementing their relationship despite his fears about the sport.
While Ryan finds joy playing floor hockey with kids at a community center, Fabian struggles with his boyfriend's career after falling down a dark YouTube rabbit hole of Ryan's bloodiest fights. Later, Ryan's only friend on the team, Wyatt, tells him that he's being traded away to Ottawa in short notice (leaving on the day). The couple shares a sweet Christmas, exchanging meaningful gifts: Fabian gives Ryan a colorful hand-woven scarf, and Ryan surprises Fabian with a stunning Mikimoto black pearl and diamond necklace. However, the romance fractures when Fabian realizes Ryan is secretly relying on Toradol injections to play through a severe back injury. Desperate to protect his NHL spot, Ryan stubbornly defends the toxic hockey culture, claiming the sport is all he has. Refusing to watch the man he loves destroy his own body, a heartbroken Fabian walks out saying "take care of yourself, Ryan Price".
A miserable, spiraling Ryan is shaken when fellow enforcer Duncan Harvey dies of a suspected overdose. At the funeral, a conversation with Ilya Rozanov about hockey's toxic toll prompts Ryan to officially retire from the NHL for good. Ryan surprises Fabian by attending his album release show wearing his woven Christmas scarf (and Fabian is wearing the Mikimoto necklace). The two reconcile with Ryan shares his retirement plans with Fabian. They declares their love for each other. In the summer epilogue, Ryan finds true fulfillment coaching at Rozanov and Shane Hollander’s charity camp, where he accidentally catching the two of them making out. The book ends with Ryan and Fabian discussing getting a townhouse and moving in together.
He held his breath, not wanting to make even the faintest sound that might compete with this perfect gift Fabian was giving the audience. Ryan couldn’t believe this was actually happening in front of him and that there were people in the world who were not here witnessing what was surely humanity’s most impressive achievement.
“What? About the fact that you suddenly look like bearded Captain America instead of, like, the dad in How to Train Your Dragon?”
The honest answer was that Ryan couldn’t quite recall what happiness felt like, but that would be an awkward thing to admit, so instead he just said, “Sure.”
Something about being naturally awkward, shy, clinically anxious, terrified of flying, and, oh yes, gay, didn’t exactly make him a friend magnet in the ol’ locker room.
